Welcome to ​Arise Leadership​: Where women learn actionable ways to have a voice at the table and get promoted faster.

Hi Reader,

Two weeks ago, during our weekly Q&A with Arisers, we stumbled upon the topic of navigating mansplaining.

Here's a flowchart our team found later in the day.

It was created by Kim Goodwin when some of her colleagues requested her help in understanding when exactly they leave the 'being helpful' zone and enter the 'mansplaining' zone.

*slow claps*

An Ariser shared a recent mansplaining incident at her workplace.

She was presenting a demo to her VP when he asked a question.

Her team lead jumped in to answer the question. Then, her peer also stepped in and began explaining the whys and the hows.

Instead of her receiving recognition for the demo she's leading, her seniors got credit for the work.

All she got out of a demo she was leading was her seniors getting credit for what she built from the ground up.

She was extremely frustrated as she shared this with us.

Her exact words,

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Here's my story of turning a mansplainer into one of my biggest allies 👇

At PayPal, I once shared an idea with a colleague who went on to present it as his own in our meeting with the CTO.

At one point, he began explaining the details to me. I was infuriated.

I had two options:

1. Watch my hard work go down the drain.
2. Pushback and own my place.

I chose the latter.

He asked a question and I got up and said,

I kept my tone extremely respectful and he immediately understood that I wouldn't let him walk over me.

That one step transformed our relationship and we became much more collaborative.

Pushing back against mansplainers is critical because oftentimes we just let them do it again and again.

Set clear boundaries of what you won't tolerate.

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Some other steps you can take to tackle mansplaining (thank you to all Arisers who so graciously shared these tips):

1. Bring back the conversation to yourself: If someone jumps in to respond to a question meant for you, once they pause, take control of the conversation by saying:
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   ​"I agree with you, thanks for adding that. Here's another key thing to consider that we need to pay attention to...."
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2. Set expectations beforehand: If you know your manager or colleague has a habit of mansplaining, it can help to set roles and responsibilities before the meeting. It also builds a stronger alignment as a team:
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   ​"I'm excited and want to make sure we have the best demo. I want to align on responsibilities and expectations during the meeting. So, I'll walk through this part of the presentation. And then I'd love it if you could jump in questions around [an area of their expertise]. How does that sound?"
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3. Send them the chart above! 😉

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Have you ever been mansplained to? Do you have any tips you'd like to share? Reply and let us know.
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Cheers,
Shivani

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